july 28.06

you do realize that i never know what date it actually is.
i have to look it up. thank god i work, i'd never have a reason to find out.

this morning, driving to work, i made a mental note.
not usually something that stays that early in the morning. kind of like those sticky notes that lose the stick on the back. just floats off.
but i woke up early this morning. i got my hair chopped yesterday, and a girl's gotta give herself a few extra minutes when she has no clue now how to do her hair.
so i actually had coffee this morning. with whipped cream in it.
the whipped cream seemed important. i even brought it to work. 'cause they have the best hot chocolate here and it deserves whipped cream.

so anyway. the mental note.
there's a dip in the road, on the way to work. a little valley sort of thing. not terribly low, but low enough that, on most morning, there are clouds in it.

i drive through the clouds on the way to work.

this struck me as somehow profound today.
i do it sometimes at night too, the clouds settle that late at night.
but at dawn, driving through pink, yellow or orange tinted clouds, is just heavenly.
it gave me peace this morning. that zen feeling that all is right with my world.
that my world is a beautiful place. that everything will be ok.
because, after all, i drive through clouds on my way to work.

i've never lived anywhere so absolutely beautiful, or so consistently stunning, in my life.
i love it here.
actually, going back to "civilization" now irritates me. boulder drives me nuts, i hate going there. i even dislike coming into vail, it's too busy.

how easily one reverts to life in an exceedingly small town.
things are at half pace. life is slowed down there.
work is just work, play and life is what matters.
they say that here in vail, but i don't think they mean it. i think in the winter they do. cause they all go skiing and snowboarding. in the summer, oooh then it's all about where your life is going, and what career you have.

i've missed this euphoric feeling, of loving so much where i live.
i loved binghamton, for a long time. the mountains gave me inspiration, gave me peace and comfort and i found what i believed there. when slush starting falling consistently from the sky, it was time to go, but i still did really love it there. i wrote 2 books there. i wrote page on page of poetry there. i was creative there.

here, god the mountains here make those look like small bumps in the road. i live nestled in a string of 14-footers (local, means mountains that are 14,000 feet or more). i wake up to this every morning. seeing snow capped mountains surround the town i live in.
i drive over the continental divide every day.
and i drive through the clouds.

i am happier, more at peace, than i have been in years.
there are things i'm missing still, but they're coming.
maybe they were just waiting til i got to where i am, to show up and say "hey, took you long enough."